I Was Going To Give This Post a Title, But Then I Got High and Supported Terrorism Instead*

It seems that ever since Barack Obama announced his candidacy for the presidency, there have been myriad half-hearted and inane attempts to derail his campaign with audacious accusations about his character. Fox News has been the biggest supporter of impugning Obama, claiming that he not only has Hussein as his middle name (gasp!), went to a "Muslim school" in the Philippines, (no, not Muslim!) and is... (mothers, you may want to turn your children away from the computer screen at this point) a smoker! That's right! "Mr. Change" himself is not only one step away from being a full-fledged supporter of Al Qaeda, but if he's not opposed to slow suicide via cigarettes, what else could he be hiding?! A hidden moustache? A connection to the Nazi party? Walt Disney's head?? C'mon. This line of thinking is elementary at best. In fact, a fifth grader being taught deductive reasoning for the first time could see through these tenuous arguments. This smoke-and-mirrors tactic is what Fox News does best: blind its audience with extremist American fervor, rile them up to the level of "blind patriot" and spoon-feed them the news that couldn't be fair and balanced if it were a white woman standing in the middle of the Liberty scales. As he is a freshman senator from Illinois, his record is cleaner than most, which means these neoconservatives have to go digging deep. The latest news item from the "always American" right is the claim that Barack Obama was only supportive of decriminalizing marijuana when he wasn't a prominent figure in the public eye (i.e. before he announced his candidacy) and is now against such measures. In fact, even the most basic research will show those self-proclaimed dispassionate dramatists at the Conservative-leaning Washington Post (http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080131/NATION/896961936/1001)
that this is simply erroneous. Barack Obama has always been the only candidate, and that includes my preferred nominee prior to withdrawal, John Edwards, who has been for the decriminalization of marijuana.

I think, at this point, we must ask ourselves just what the big deal is. Why is marijuana stigmatized now, as it was in the 1930s, with the moniker of "assassin of youth"? What properties, contained therein, are so detrimental to a person's well-being, that simply by being around them would cause great personal harm? The main ingredients in cannabis sativa (the plant from which marijuana is cultivated) are pistillate plant leaves and dried, aged flowers. The by-product of this flora is a chemical known as Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC to you hipsters) which, when rendered as a molecule, looks a bit phallic in nature. Just saying. Combining the THC inherent in the plant with the product itself causes an adverse reaction in its consumer: dizziness, nausea, mild hallucinations, increased heartbeat, increased appetite, reduced reaction time, and the ever-dangerous short-term memory loss. Perhaps these are reasons alone to ban marijuana completely and call Barack Obama to the gallows for daftly insinuating that weed offenses should be lessened. I argue to the contrary.

With the passage of the "Marihuana Tax Act of 1937," yes, that's 1937, marijuana was made illegal in the United States. Increased knowledge of the adverse side effects of certain drugs, including cocaine, opium, and snuff led to this widespread ban on all narcotics. Spreading the myth that pot is a gateway drug, that increased use will lead people to "...tune in and drop out," and, more recently, that smoking marijuana is akin to giving money to terrorists, the United States government has spent more money to prosecute those who smoke the wacky tobacky than they have on the No Child Left Behind Act. Disregarding the facts that Saudi Arabia, the nation where 15 of the 19 9/11 hijackers were born and raised, has over $10 TRILLION invested in the U.S. economy and that simply by relying on foreign oil produced by terror-supporting nations, we as Americans indirectly support terror, in 2002 over $12 billion was spent destroying marijuana plants grown in the southern Atlantic states, including Kentucky, Tennessee, and Florida. This continued prohibition of a drug with known medical benefits is absolutely preposterous. The War on Drugs has been fought continuously since 1937 and it does not look like the American troops are faring well in this one. Perhaps they should take a page out of President Bush's agenda and withdraw soldiers... wait...

The killer side effects I mentioned earlier are found, not only in alcohol, but in products consumed by Americans of all ages: sugar and coffee among the main offenders. Naysayers will claim that continued pot use will result in incurable lung cancer due to the carcinogenic components of the THC contained within. These same naysayers will make this claim whilst lighting up a cigarette, putting six sugar-substitutes into the venti chai extra-whip no frap macchiato beverage from Starbucks, cleaning their floors with ammonia and bleach, eating McDonald's french fries, and using over 12,000 other products that may cause cancer. The disease argument must be taken with a grain of salt that may or may not also cause cancer. In 2006, 13,470 people died on U.S Highways as a result of alcohol, with the number being slightly higher than the previous year. Yet, except for the ubiquitous Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), cries for prohibition, regulation, or even temperance were nowhere to be heard.

It is truly sad when people who claim that the United States does not have the best interest of its citizens in mind are starting to look less and less loony. The only reasons I can see for the denunciation of marijuana is lack of profit, lack of historical significance within the United States, and lack of complete knowledge about the drug. By telling U.S. citizens that they cannot do something because it is illegal and wrong is akin to putting a giant red button in the middle of a room, a la Ren and Stimpy, and saying, "Now kids, whatever you do, don't push this button." Yet, I have found that the continued criminalization of marijuana in the United States is almost directly related to social status. Naturally, those in poor, urban environments are likelier candidates for drug use than those in the middle- and upper-classes, and by persistently prosecute those who use marijuana recreationally, it allows a continuation of the class war within the country. Indeed, with over 250,000 inmates currently incarcerated for non-violent drug offenses in our nation's prisons, I think it's time that we take a look in the mirror, take a deep breath, relax, and press that red button. I think if you check your facts, Washington Post, you'll find that Barack Obama was most definitely a fan of Ren and Stimpy.

*Note: I neither got high nor supported terrorism before, during, or after this post.